


Where It All Begins

by kromi



Series: Present Day AU [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: M/M, coffee shop AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-27
Updated: 2014-10-29
Packaged: 2018-02-22 20:40:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 13,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2521079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kromi/pseuds/kromi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a coffee shop, of all places</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1

 

Maverick is tired of explaining why a guy like him is working as a barista in a coffee shop. He's tired of customers come in and look right through him into the kitchen as if to see if there's anyone else on duty, because sure as hell a guy like him can't be serving them coffee. Maverick admits he sort of looks like the kind of a guy who spits in their pretentious decaf lattes, but even if he does wear a look that radiates both boredom and hostility, he _can_ do customer service. And most of the time he does. Maybe he doesn't make the best coffees in town or even in the block and he can't do fancy pictures with foaming milk (he's practicing hard, though!), but he owes Ramona enough not to undermine her business with acting like a jerk and so he feigns smiles and a sunny disposition very unbecoming of him.

Except when the customer is Benny.

Because Benny will keep showing up, no matter how many times Maverick frowns instead of smiling or says 'fuck off' instead of 'hello' or gets him decaf or skim or even some 'disgusting' macchiato instead of the simple 'coffee with milk no sugar'. Benny will show up and get his (usually wrong) coffee and sit in the corner table waiting for Jerry to show up and it's fucking disgusting how his face lights up whenever Jerry does. Like a demented puppy dog he fucking wags his hand (equivalent of a tail in this case) at Jerry and when they sit together Benny is like a schoolgirl with a hopelessly obvious crush.

But after Jerry starts showing up with Cotton Benny's face starts going so dark and gloomy it's like he has his own little raincloud on top of him in the corner, and Maverick almost considers getting some curdled milk for his next coffee because holy shit that would fit a sourpuss like Benny so well.

That's one of the things Maverick actually likes about being a barista: he can watch all the drama unfold from behind the counter; see the intricacies and ridiculousness of human relationships spread in front of him like a primetime soap opera on TV.

That, and he guesses it's a thousand times better than what he did before.

"You are such a shitty barista, why do you even work here?" Benny asks him, watching intently as Maverick gets him his coffee, as if making sure he does it right this time.

Maverick gives the bottle of curdled milk in the fridge a longing, wistful look (he keeps one around just waiting for the day when he just doesn't give a shit anymore), but gets Benny his coffee with milk no sugar and one of their fresh sandwiches and rings them both in.

"Four fifty-nine, and if I'm such a shitty barista, why do you even come here?" Maverick responds with an unfriendly scowl.

Benny hands him the money and scowls as well. "Why do you keep countering my questions?"

"Why do you?" Maverick retorts, handing Benny the change. He glances at the door, hoping for more customers so that Benny would fuck off the counter, but the shop is vacant, like it usually is when it's not yet lunch hour. "Seriously, if you don't like my fucking service there are a handful of other places down the street, why don't you go get your shitty coffees there?"

Benny takes the coffee and the sandwich and gives Maverick one of his usual unimpressed, borderline angry looks, but doesn't say anything as he backs off the counter and heads for his usual table in the corner. Maverick grins complacently, leaning a bit over the counter. _Because Jerry comes here_ , he thinks and hopes Benny turns around and sees him grin because that is going to annoy him even more.


	2. 2

There's one downside to watching all the drama from sidelines: at some point Maverick finds it impossible not to do something about the downright hostile atmosphere in the coffee shop. It's fucking ridiculous, Maverick realizes one day when Cotton and Jerry come in and the first words out of Cotton's mouth are actually "Has Benny been around today?" instead of his order. He looks wary and concerned.

"Uh, no, why?" Maverick says hesitantly, quirking his eyebrow at the couple.

Jerry sighs and Cotton glances back at the door with a frown before he makes his (and Jerry's) order.

Maverick realizes that Benny's jealous act is making them uncomfortable, and it's understandable, really: Maverick is feeling uncomfortable by proxy just watching Benny excel at his passive-aggressive jealousy bullshit.

Within fifteen minutes the chime above the door welcomes another customer, and Benny strides to the counter, all the while glaring at Cotton and Jerry. Maverick gets him decaf just for the fuck of it, and after Benny retreats to his corner table Maverick leaves the counter as well to wipe the tables coincidentally near Benny's corner.

He's wiping the table right next to Benny's when he speaks up without looking at Benny. "You're being a fucking huge baby, you know," he says almost conversationally.

Benny replies after a while. "Are you talking to me?"

"No, I'm talking to myself, of course I'm fucking talking to you, numbnuts," Maverick says, rolling his eyes. He turns to Benny, leaning to the table behind him and crossing his arms over his chest. "You're an unbelievable brat."

"What the fuck," Benny says, narrowing his eyes at Maverick.

Maverick jerks his head a bit towards Jerry and Cotton. "When are you going to get over freckles? I don't even know if you're being creepy or just sad."

Benny flushes red from anger and perhaps embarrassment as well. "That's none of your fucking business," he almost snarls.

"You continuing this shit in my fucking coffee shop pretty much makes it my fucking business, sourpuss," Maverick says haughtily. "Maybe you should actually work on your jealousy issues instead of coming here every fucking day to give the evil eye to people who seem pretty happy together. Just get the fuck over it, sourpuss."

Maverick doesn't really see it coming until his apron is drenched in hot coffee and Benny is well on his way striding out of the coffee shop. Even the chime above the door sounds angry when the door opens and closes and Benny's gone.


	3. 3

Benny doesn't show up the day after the coffee incident, or even the day after that, and around that time Maverick starts thinking that maybe he actually did the right thing for once. He got scolded by Ramona after she found his coffee-drenched T-shirt from the laundry basket, but when Maverick told her that the customer who had thrown a coffee at him was actually Benny, she just said 'oh' and sighed. Yeah, exactly, everyone knows Benny is jealous as fuck of Cotton; everyone knows why he keeps coming to the coffee shop.

Well, one problem less, Maverick thinks as he cleans the espresso machine on the third day around the time Benny used to show up. Just then the door gives its welcoming chime and Maverick turns around to find Benny in his stupid red work shirt stalking to the counter with a sort of scared or reluctant look.

"What the fuck do you want?" Maverick greets Benny, narrowing his eyes.

"I'm sorry," Benny says a bit sheepishly, looking intently at the donuts on display. "For the coffee."

"Did you think about what I said?" Maverick asks after a while, watching Benny.

Benny glances at him sheepishly. "It's just… hard, you know," he says awkwardly.

Maverick doesn't reply. He keeps watching Benny as if trying to read what he's really thinking from his face. He's not good at that: he has no idea what's going through Benny's head right now, but at least his apology seems sincere and for some reason that is making Maverick feel pretty nice. After a while Maverick huffs and starts making Benny his stupid coffee with milk no sugar. "I'll accept your apology once you show me you're actually working on that shit," he says and pushes the finished coffee over the counter.

Benny eyes the coffee. "I didn't order," he points out the obvious.

Maverick rolls his eyes. "It's on the house, dumbass," he says, "as long as you don't throw it on me."

Benny's expression softens remarkably and he manages a tiny smile (maybe the first one Maverick's ever seen?) and takes the coffee. "Thanks," he says, still a bit sheepish.

Maverick just waves his hand dismissively and watches as Benny moves to his corner table. He's feeling sort of warm and fuzzy on the inside, but he goes back to cleaning the espresso machine and never finds out that Benny's watching him now.


	4. 4

"Are you doing anything today after you get off work?" Benny asks him unexpectedly on one remarkably boring Thursday, leaning to the counter. Benny is clearly trying to sound nonchalant, but some sort of nervousness lurks underneath and it is  _weird_ . He was heading out of the coffee shop but sort of spun around awkwardly half-way to the door and returned to the counter as if he had just remembered something.  _That was it?_

Maverick is of course so taken aback by the sudden question that it takes him several seconds to even register the content and even then it's nearly not long enough for his surprise-impaired wit to kick in. He just dropped some coffee beans on the floor, son of a bitch. "Uh, no," he replies completely truthfully, staring at Benny. Is Benny about to _ask him out_ , what the fuck is even going on right now?

"Do you wanna, like, hang out or something?" Benny continues, looking a bit hopeful.

Well, it's not  _that_ weird: ever since Benny threw the coffee at Maverick, he's been sort of trying to get in good graces with Maverick. Maverick isn't sure if Benny's still feeling guilty over it and trying to make up for it or what, but it's not that bad: every single conversation they have turns into slinging insults sooner or later and it's sort of fun. Maverick likes making Benny tick: it's easy and some part of him enjoys seeing Benny's face contort in anger as he reaches the end of his rope, and it's completely harmless because Maverick is sure they both know that it's just for fun. And most of the time Maverick can tell that Benny's trying  _really_ hard not to get angry; it's only when Maverick takes out the big guns and like a bloodhound goes for something he knows will hurt when Benny frowns and turns into the sourpuss Maverick has grown used to.

It makes Maverick feel like a complete dick, but he can't stop doing it and at least Benny's retaliation is always just as nasty.

But the most important thing is that Benny isn't giving Jerry and Cotton the evil eye anymore. Or at least he's trying very hard not to do it, and he is clearly getting better. Maverick is sort of proud of Benny, and the relief on both Cotton and Jerry's faces is palpable. Instead Benny is bothering Maverick all the time, but Maverick guesses he'll just take that one for the team and keep all of the shop's customers happy and returning.

"Are you fucking  _asking me out?_ " Maverick lifts the cat on the table, quirking an eyebrow.

Benny rolls his eyes. "Well, yeah, I'm asking you out, but in a friendly manner, you know. Not like a  _date_ or anything, fuck no," he says and scoffs. "I just thought we could hang out. Do something fun. I mean… like friends do?"

_Friends_ . Well that word somehow makes Maverick feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside. Is that what this is? Benny wants to be his  _friend?_ Maverick is sort of worried he is flushing, which would be really ridiculous because going on a  _date_ : okay whatever (or  _no_ ); but just going out as friends:  _oh gosh._

"And do what?"

"I don't know," Benny says, his voice gaining a frustrated note. "Like, have you been to the new arcade a couple of blocks from here? It's pretty sweet."

"An arcade?" Maverick quirks his eyebrow even more.

"Well I don't know what you'd want to do! I'm asking in order to find out, you idiot!" Benny says and the frustrated note is now the tone.

Maverick is silent for a moment, watching Benny and once again trying to gauge his true thoughts from his face. He gets nothing but frustration. He shrugs then. Maybe it's a mistake, but Maverick sort of wants to hang out with Benny as well. "Arcade sounds cool."

Benny does a double-take then, adorably enough. "So is that a yes? What time do you get out of work?"


	5. 5

Maverick grimaces at the mirror, completely unbelieving that he is actually seriously thinking about what to wear. It's not like it's a date or that he's trying to make an impression on someone, but he quickly defends his need to look tolerable on the grounds that Benny's never seen him out of the coffee shop and without the apron and the ridiculous scarf Ramona makes him wear so that he doesn't shed hair all over the shop (it does make him look softer at the cost of making him look a bit stupid: if he wore a beanie or something, customers would definitely turn around at the door in fear of getting spit in their coffees, and the scarf is less hideous than a hairnet or the visor Ramona tried to make him wear at first).

In the end he ends up wearing pretty much the same kind of clothes –- a print T-shirt, hoodie and ripped jeans -- he wears under the apron, but hides his wild hair under a beanie, and frowns deep at himself for being so ridiculous as he shuffles out of the apartment and onto the street. They had decided to meet at the arcade and much to his horror Maverick notices he's almost ten minutes early. He walks around the block twice, smoking four cigarettes during that time. It's not that he's nervous, he just really hates waiting.

It's what he keeps telling himself, hands shoved into his pockets to hide all evidence of the shaking.

He heads to the arcade five minutes late (because it's not like he cares enough to be on time, of course) and finds Benny lounging near the entrance. Maverick doesn't even recognize him on the first glance because Benny looks kind of different when he's not wearing the bright red T-shirt and cap of the stupid bike-courier-whatever service he always wears when he pops into the coffee shop during his breaks. He looks completely normal; an army-green hooded sweatshirt and black cargo pants, and somehow it comes as a complete surprise to Maverick. Benny looks up and notices Maverick, flashing a really quick smile at him. Maverick replies with a tiny wave of his hand.

Fucking hell why is he so nervous.

"Yo," he says to Benny and stops a respectable distance away from him.

"Hi," Benny greets Maverick back and is it just Maverick or is this really fucking awkward? Maverick sort of wants to run away, his nervousness doubles and his face feels sort of hot.  _This is not a date_ , he keeps telling himself; no reason whatsoever to be nervous about hanging out with his friend. Going to an arcade to play some games, fuck yeah, completely normal and unromantic!

Benny nods and heads into the arcade. Yes, good, Maverick thinks, and follows him. It's noisy inside and the place is filled with kids, and Maverick is starting to be sort of scared that he might be sticking out like a sore thumb. He moves just a tad closer to Benny, following him as he goes to get himself a coke. Maverick gets himself one as well, realizing too late that he would have liked something else instead. Fucking hell.

For a moment longer they just walk around the arcade. They haven't said a word after the 'yo' and the 'hi' and the longer the silence stretches out, the more nervous Maverick feels. Maybe this was a bad idea, this is horrible. He's not having fun. He's not used to hanging around in places like these; he's never been to an arcade: he doesn't know any of the games or anything. Sure he knows  _games_ but not arcade games. 

He watches a couple of teenage girls play some noisy dancing game.

"So do you wanna play something?" Benny asks.

"I dunno, do you?" Maverick bounces the question right back, sucking at the coke he hates.

"DDR?" Benny asks, having noticed Maverick look at the dancing girls.

"What?" Maverick says, sounding confused.

"The dancing game?" Benny asks, quirking an eyebrow and nodding towards the large noisy cabinet with blinking lights and Japanese bubblegum pop and the teenage girls.

Maverick feels embarrassed for not knowing a goddamn thing about arcade games and hurries to scoff. "Yeah of course, I just couldn't hear your fucking mumbling," he lies quickly. "I don't play that shitty game, it's for girls."

Benny looks at him for a moment and then nods. "Yeah," he says. "What do you play, then?" he asks.

_Fuck._ Maverick glances quickly around him at the games. Street Fighter? No, he's absolute shit at fighting games: too many fucking buttons and combos to learn, he just smashes the buttons at random and that won't do at all. Whatever he plays, it must be something he can beat Benny at. Some driving game, complete with plastic life-size motorcycle controllers you can actually sit on to play? Yeah, no, driving games are the most boring games in existence.

Then he sees a game with a couple of crappy-looking guns attached to it.

"Shooting games, of course," he says. Shooters are his favorite genre and he's even played some arcade-style rail shooters before: if he can do that on an Xbox controller, he sure as hell can do it with a controller that's actually like a gun. Just point and shoot, right?

Benny's expression actually brightens and he grins at Maverick, starting to head towards the shooting game. "Bet you I can make it farther than you," he throws a challenge, and Maverick feels the nervousness wash away in a blissful instant.

He scoffs at Benny. "In your fucking dreams, sourpuss," he says and follows Benny.

Benny beats him at the first try, and Maverick gingerly proposes best of three, feeding the game another set of quarters. It wasn't quite like the shooters he had played on Xbox, but he's certain he'll get the hang of it the next time.

He doesn't.

"Best of five?" he says, clenching his jaw.

Benny's grinning like a hyena, clearly enjoying the situation immensely. Maverick wins the next time around and gloats so much the people playing next to them turn to look disapprovingly, but when Benny wins the next one again, Maverick sort of suspects that Benny went easy on him. Unacceptable. Maverick admits his defeat extremely gingerly and retreats away from the stupid-ass zombie shooting game.

"And here I was thinking I'm a sore loser," Benny taunts him with a shit-eating grin.

"Fuck you, sourpuss, I've never played  _that_ game before," Maverick replies haughtily.

"Wanna play something else?" Benny asks then.

"Nah, just play whatever you want, I don't have that much cash on me anyway," Maverick replies with a shrug. Just another lie: he just doesn't want to lose anymore OR let Benny know that he's a complete greenhorn in what comes to arcade gaming.

Benny shrugs. "I can pay for a few games if you want, it's no problem," he says and heads for the Street Fighter while Maverick watches over his shoulder. Maverick had been right to pass on Street Fighter: Benny plays pretty well, and Maverick is sort of impressed under all the bitter jealousy. Maverick would have gotten his ass kicked pretty thoroughly, although from what he understands Benny is a complete dick for playing as Blanka.

After that Benny insists Maverick to play some racing game with him, and Maverick relents. The racing game is sort of fun: it has a wheel and pedals and Maverick actually beats Benny a couple of times, although he once again suspects Benny is letting him win for some fucking stupid reason. Maverick doesn't know if he should feel insulted, or if he would feel worse actually losing fairly. He gloats, still, and calls Benny a noob with a wide grin. Benny just shrugs it off, looking only marginally concerned and that is not like Benny at all, which all just points to the fact that he's going easy on Maverick.

The thing is, Maverick realizes at some point, laughing at Benny fail at the fucking whack-a-mole, that he's actually having fun, and from the grin on Benny's face Maverick guesses that he's probably having good time as well.

An hour later they leave the arcade, finding themselves on the darkening street in silence.

"I had fun," Maverick admits a bit awkwardly, shuffling his feet against the pavement. "Thanks for the uh, thanks for asking me."

Benny smiles and Maverick hates what that's suddenly doing to him, like he's nauseous or something, and he has to scrunch up his nose a bit and look away, praying to whatever fucking god that he won't blush.

"You could have told me, though," Benny says then a bit hesitantly, "that you've never been to an arcade and you don't know the games. I could've taught you."

Now Maverick flushes bright red and he feels a sudden surge of hurt and anger and embarrassment. "That's bullshit!" he spits out dumbly, but he doesn't really know what to say, because Benny is right. Maverick just doesn't like  _not_ knowing something or  _not_ being good at something, and having Benny teach him would have been the cherry on top of a multilayered embarrassment cake.

Maverick is still thinking of how to retort and how many different ways to call Benny an idiot he can think up, when Benny sighs and opens his mouth: "Mav, you're being a huge fucking idiot. I just wanted to spend some time with you, no need to turn it into some sort of contest," he says, sounding almost hurt. "You're allowed not to know stuff. Everyone has their first time at something. It's okay, you dumbass."

Maverick scowls and keeps looking away. He really doesn't know what to say: he's way too proud to admit that Benny's right, but he feels sort of guilty as well. And where did that fucking nickname even come from, no one's called him Mav in ages. "Sorry," he says quietly after a while. That's all the explanation he is willing to give on the issue.

"It's okay," Benny repeats meaningfully. "Let's do this again someday, alright?"

"Yeah," Maverick nods sheepishly.

There's an awkward short silence, but then Benny waves his hand, says "Bye, see you tomorrow" and walks away.

"See you," Maverick replies while some unknown warm feeling blooms inside his chest and smothers out his heart.


	6. 6

Of course pretty much right after Maverick finally admits to himself that alright, he might have a bit of a crush on Benny (he's certain it's only because Benny's the first person in a long time who notices Maverick's existence and who isn't Ramona, and therefore the whole unfortunate predicament is bound to pass quickly once the novelty wears off), it all just goes to shit.

Benny shows up at the coffee shop long after his working hours dressed up in normal clothes and with quite possibly the most attractive androgynous person Maverick has ever seen. The guy, or girl, is gorgeous in some ethnic fair trade hipster way and it's impossible to tell their gender, which, Maverick supposes, doesn't really matter. Benny and the androgynous hottie get coffee and donuts, and Benny acts a bit like he doesn't even know Maverick, and that's the first thing that sort of makes something painful twist in Maverick's gut.

Curiosity is killing Maverick during the next five minutes he pretends to wipe the counter while stealing glances towards the corner table. Is it a date? Benny's smiling a lot, which is the second thing that makes Maverick's gut hurt in some total bullshit way. Ugh, why did he have to get ahead of himself like that, Benny just wanted to be Maverick's friend and Maverick's being an idiot and crushing on him. That's what he gets, Maverick thinks darkly, wets the rag and leaves to wipe the tables because he _has to_ listen in.

 

 

Turns out the androgynous hottie is in _medical school_ and working as an _intern_ in the city's biggest hospital and going to be a _motherfucking doctor_ in a year or two and what the hell kind of bullshit is that? How did Benny snatch himself a _gorgeous doctor?!_ Benny does not have that kind of game, he's not that good-looking (just sort of cute in some very conventional way), he's working as a _bike courier_ and he's a huge sourpuss and kind of a dick! The androgynous hottie has a very pleasant soft voice and they're smiling a lot as well, clearly enjoying Benny's company. They mostly talk about trivial things from what Maverick can hear after the mention about the med school and the internship and Maverick's gut hurts more the longer he listens.

Finally he sucks it up and walks to the table. "Hey, Benny, do you wanna introduce me to your friend?" he asks. He knows he's being a bit bof a dick right now, but he needs to know what's going on.

The androgynous hottie looks up at Maverick with a surprised look. "You know each other?" they ask.

Benny's expression is something between annoyed and embarrassed and he glances at Maverick, sighing. "Maverick, this is Abby. Abby, Maverick."

Abby immediately holds their hand out to Maverick and beams radiantly at him. "Nice to meet you," they say.

 _Ugh, god, is there nothing unattractive about this person?_ Maverick thinks gingerly and extends his hand to Abby. "Yeah, totally," he says and adds: "Benny comes here all the time."

Abby looks a bit surprised again, glancing at Benny. "Oh," they say simply and then smile back at Maverick politely. "I like your coffee."

"Thanks, it's just coffee," Maverick says and is about to ask Abby if they've just moved in the neighborhood or something, but the chime above the door announces another customer and Maverick excuses himself to return behind the counter. There's a steady stream of customers after that and Maverick can't find a reason to sneak near Benny and Abby's table anymore, so he just stands behind the counter and stares at them gingerly, sort of hoping that Benny would look at him even once. He doesn't, and it's just thoroughly stupid how bad that makes Maverick feel.

Maybe it's Maverick who doesn't have any game: he's a high school dropout barista who lives with a woman who could for all intents and purposes be his mother; he's not that good-looking either (just sort of cute in some unconventional way?), he doesn't dress nicely and his smiles don't light up the whole goddamn room like Abby's seem to. He's almost a pathological liar and he's not polite or nice. Half the time he's not nice even to the people he likes, Benny included with a special mention for being _the_ person he likes. So yeah in hindsight it's really not surprising that Benny doesn't like Maverick: who the hell would like a person who just makes you angry all the time?

Benny doesn't look at him even when he leaves the coffee shop with Abby an hour later, and although the shop is half-full of people by then, Maverick has never felt so fucking alone before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Image courtesy of Erli @ http://erlie.tumblr.com


	7. 7

Benny is clearly going out with Abby and Maverick absolutely refuses to feel heartbroken over it. He tries telling himself that he's happy for Benny because Benny actually seems happy: most of his frowns have turned into smiles and there's always a positive note to his voice when he's talking with Abby, and Maverick guesses he likes seeing Benny happy because of the way his stomach twists almost uncomfortably whenever he catches Benny smiling. Of course there's the bitter and ugly edge: Benny's not smiling at Maverick, and it seems to make all the difference in the world.

But Maverick _should_ be happy for his friend.

It's just pretty hard to be happy for someone when all you really want to do is cry.

It wouldn't be so bad if Benny didn't act like Maverick doesn't even exist. To hell with heartbreak and what the fuck ever: the worst thing is that Maverick has seemed to have lost the only friend he had. It doesn't even make sense: they were just fine, then Abby came into play, and Benny started ignoring Maverick. He doesn't even come to the coffee shop during his breaks anymore and Maverick finds himself solving motherfucking crossword puzzles during the lazy hours between breakfast and lunch when the customers are few and far between: the lazy hours he used to spend arguing with Benny. And goddamn he misses even that: he would give anything to have Benny frown and shout at him over something trivial and stupid because at least it would mean that Benny's noticing him again.

Benny comes in with Abby and Maverick gets him a macchiato. Maverick watches Benny taste his coffee, pull a face and put the cup back down on the table and he feels it coming: Benny's going to look up and glare at Maverick like he used to do and maybe shout at him across the shop, and Maverick grins at himself, because this has to work.

And Benny just smiles at Abby and never looks at Maverick. Never touches his coffee again, leaves it on the table when he and Abby move out of the shop.

That's the last straw, Maverick wants to cry and shout and maybe punch Benny in the face for being a huge stupid… _stupid-face_ , goddamn Maverick is so angry he can't even come up with proper insults. He leaves the counter and walks out of the shop after Benny.

"Hey, sourpuss, I wanna have a word with you!" he yells, standing on the street in his apron and stupid scarf and ignoring the weird looks from bypassers and the confused surprise on Abby's face when they turn to look. Benny turns to look as well, frowning at Maverick.

"What are you doing?" he asks, like Maverick didn't announce himself properly just now.

"I wanna talk," Maverick repeats.

"Why?" Benny asks and Maverick isn't sure if he's playing stupid or he genuinely doesn't have any idea why Maverick might want to talk to him.

Abby looks at Benny with a sort of concerned look and touches his arm. "He seems upset, maybe you should talk to him. Isn't he your friend?" Abby says softly, and if Maverick didn't hate Abby's guts just by principle, he could kiss them right now for being on his side in this.

Benny looks conflicted, but eventually sighs and steps away from Abby and towards Maverick. "Fine," he says in a long-suffering tone and walks to Maverick hesitantly. Maverick feels like he owes Abby some sort of explanation and flashes them a quick apologetic look before he leads Benny back into the coffee shop and through the kitchen to the stairwell that leads to the apartments in the building. There Benny crosses his arms over his chest and looks at Maverick expectantly.

Maverick faces Benny and just spits the question at his face. "Why are you ignoring me?"

"I'm not ignoring you," Benny replies, which is the sort of stupid obvious lie Maverick would make up.

"Yeah sure you aren't, I just gave you a macchiato and you didn't even get mad, what the fuck?" Maverick says, trying not to sound as hateful and bitter as he's feeling. "Ever since you started going out with Abby we haven't been hanging out, we haven't even fucking talked! You don't even say hi when you come to the coffee shop! And don't fucking get me wrong, it's great that you're getting some and you seem pretty happy with Abby so good for you, but I fucking thought we were friends."

The last words are so bitter Maverick can almost taste the bile at the back of his throat. Ugh he hopes he won't start crying, that would be way too stupid.

Benny's face goes from rebellious to angry to guilty within seconds and he looks away and shuffles his feet awkwardly, as if he's somehow embarrassed of being called out. He doesn't say anything, and the silence hangs heavy and tangible upon them.

"It kinda hurts," Maverick says quietly then and swallows hard around the lump in his throat. "And I don't really understand, so if you don't wanna be my friend anymore then just fucking say so and I guess that's it, but don't just fucking ignore me like I don't even exist."

Benny's quiet so long Maverick's almost ready to leave the fucking stairwell and just go and cry his heart out somewhere hidden because clearly Benny doesn't want to be his friend anymore for some stupid-ass reason and he isn't even man enough to come out and say it. Maverick takes a step back and lets out a hollow laugh (because between crying and laughing laughing doesn't seem quite as pathetic), about to tell Benny to fuck off and leave him alone.

He never gets to, because Benny speaks up eventually. "Abby's waiting for me," he just says and walks back into the coffee shop through the back door, leaving Maverick alone and completely stunned in the stairwell.

Benny's words ring in the silence. Maverick tears the stupid scarf off his head and aims a kick at the wall.

"Fucking shit," he curses, voice breaking at the first word, and he sits down on the lowest stair and cries pathetically into his apron until Ramona comes downstairs, having been alerted to the fact that no one's manning her coffee shop. Ramona's anger dissipates into motherly concern in two seconds flat from finding her protégé sniffling in the stairwell, and she tells Maverick to go upstairs and take the rest of the night off.

Maverick does. He pulls the curtains over the windows of his tiny room and crawls into his bed. He hides himself in the blankets like he's a little kid again, and he finds out what heartbreak really feels like.


	8. 8

It's like Maverick's body also decides to fuck this shit and the heartbreak-induced sniffling turns into an actual flu. He really hopes he could at least work because it would put his mind off all the things that have lately reduced him into a wibbling mess, but Ramona won't have any of it and she tells him to stay in bed instead of trying to spread the flu to the entire neighborhood via coffee.

He of course ends up telling Ramona everything, because Ramona has her way of milking secrets from him, and he actually feels a tiny bit better after telling her about Benny. Ramona isn't surprised in the slightest to find out Maverick's nursing some sort of crush on Benny ("Of course, it's really obvious," she says with a roll of her eyes, and for a moment Maverick worries that everybody else knows as well), but she seems completely baffled by Benny's recent behavior, and unfortunately cannot offer any advice aside from "talk to him".

The thing is Maverick really doesn't want to talk to Benny. When he thinks about Benny he feels like he's being torn apart because on one hand he is really fucking angry at Benny for tossing him aside like that, and on the other hand he's heartbroken and sad because he's alone and pathetically friendless again.

Maverick tries to occupy himself in other ways: he takes all his blankets, moves to the living room couch and plugs in Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3. He joins the multiplayer, trolls in lobbies with voice chat and spends all matches either camping with a sniper rifle in some remote corner of the map or running around with a knife and shanking everyone else in the back until the scoreboard voice chats are nothing but preteen gamers raging at him.

It makes him feel a tiny bit better. And then Ramona comes home and tells him to stop because she really hates the expletives and homophobic screeching, and Maverick quiets down to watch some crappy horror movie from Netflix.

He still has a small fever the next day, which just means more Call of Duty and trolling noobs, so he once again moves to the living room after waking up.

Around noon the doorbell rings, and Maverick sighs because how can someone as particular as Ramona keep forgetting her keys, and he walks to the door with a headset on and the Xbox controller in hand, wrapped in two blankets at least, and he opens the door to find Benny behind it in his red bike courier ensemble.

Maverick does a double take during which his heart jumps to his throat and then plummets down to his knees, and then he just frowns and slams the door at Benny's face before Benny even has the chance to say anything. Chances are Maverick doesn't want to hear it.

Maverick stands next to the door, trying to even out his breathing. Fucking hell, stupid Benny, what is he even doing here? He almost jumps out of his skin when the doorbell rings again and Benny's voice comes through the door.

"Come on, I wanna talk to you," Benny says, sounding irritated.

"Fuck you, why would I ever want to talk to you, I fucking hate you," Maverick yells back at him.

"I'm sorry!" Benny shouts. "I'm a fucking idiot and I'm sorry and I would really, really wanna talk to you, so please, Mav, open the door."

"FUCK YOU," Maverick screeches.

"I SAID I'M SORRY," Benny screeches back and Maverick's faintly aware that they are indeed shouting at each other through a closed door, and the whole goddamn apartment building is possibly privy to it.

"It's a bit too late for that, you fucking asshole," Maverick shouts in reply, the bitterness overwhelming. He feels like crying again: why did Benny have to show up and pour salt in his fucking wounds?

There's a brief silence behind the door then, and Maverick's heart jumps back to his throat for some really stupid reason: was he actually expecting Benny to stay and keep yelling at him until he by some miracle would forgive him? (And holy shit Maverick wants to forgive him because of a multitude of stupid reasons).

Then there's a sort of weak knock. "Please let me talk to you," Benny says quietly, barely audible through the door. "I feel horrible, I want to explain."

Maverick opens the door, revealing a mighty sheepish Benny. Relief crosses Benny's features when he sees Maverick, and Maverick's biting the inside of his cheek so that he wouldn't burst out crying. He lowers the headset around his neck (thankfully he had at least realized to mute his microphone before starting to yell: he would have to change his gamertag after that public embarrassment) and crosses his arms, looking at Benny expectantly.

Benny looks around him. "Can I come in, I… I'd rather not continue yelling here?" he asks sheepishly.

Maverick rolls his eyes and with a long-suffering sigh steps aside. Benny shuffles inside awkwardly and Maverick closes the door, turning to Benny again with his arms crossed. He isn't going to say a goddamn thing until Benny has explained. He's feeling sort of hopeful, though, and he prays to whatever god is willing to listen that Benny has some really good reason for being a huge dick and that he'd be easy to forgive.

Benny shuffles some more, growing more awkward by the second.

"Ramona didn't put you up to this, did she?" Maverick asks then, the thought crossing his mind. He narrows his eyes at Benny. It would be totally like Ramona to do something like that.

Benny looks confused. "No, uh," he says. "Why would she? I mean, I didn't… I just didn't see you in the shop so I asked her where you were and she told me you're feeling a bit under the weather," he explains, stumbling over his words a bit.

"So fucking explain already," Maverick barks impatiently.

"Right, uh," Benny mumbles. "First off, I'm really fucking sorry for uh. For being an ass. I want to be your friend," he says, looking at Maverick meaningfully. "I  _really_ want to be your friend, I feel fucking awful for… for not making that clear."

"Sounds like you're just making excuses," Maverick says weakly.

"It's, you know, Abby. They're really smart and gorgeous and a… a  _med student_ for fuck's sake," Benny says and runs his hand through his hair, starting to pace around the room in frustration. "And I was trying to impress them, and, you know, I didn't think being a bike courier is very impressive, neither is having only a high school diploma. Or hanging around a coffee shop with a barista as a best friend."

Maverick quirks his eyebrow.

"So I sorta pretended we weren't friends so that Abby wouldn't think less of me," Benny finishes awkwardly.

Maverick's stunned into silence. "That's  _it?!_ " he says after a while, completely baffled. He's trying to make sense of it all, and it doesn't really make any. "Are you stupid?!"

"Yeah," Benny agrees sheepishly.

"What fucking ass-backwards pants-on-head IDIOTIC reasoning IS that, Jesus fucking Christ my brain is hurting just from trying to WRAP around that special brand of horseshit!" Maverick says, staring at Benny like he's still having a hard time understanding it all.

"Yeah," Benny says, shuffling his feet a bit. "Anyway, I panicked when you asked me what was up and I felt  _awful_ afterwards and I guess I never really thought about how you might feel because we just fight a lot and I'm not always sure if you even wanna be my friend and. I'm so sorry, I'm a fucking idiot. I really want to be your friend and it's killing me I might have screwed everything up." He sounds genuinely concerned there and he looks at Maverick almost shyly. "Did I?"

Maverick watches Benny, slowly catching up on the fact that this could be a good thing? It still hurts, though, because of Abby. Because Benny was willing to set Maverick completely aside for Abby. Maverick would have been completely alright with Benny dating someone else, nothing to it: if Benny doesn't like Maverick that way then fine, nothing he can do about it, but not even being his friend because of Abby? That's harder to forgive. Maverick  _wants to_ because the last few days have been like a fucking nightmare and he really wants everything to go back to the way it was.

"I really wanna say you did," Maverick says quietly, looking away.

Something painful crosses Benny's features then. "Mav, please," he says, almost pleading.

"What about Abby?" Maverick asks.

"What about them?" Benny asks a bit defensively.

"Wouldn't your being friends with me completely ruin your chances with them?" Maverick says, every word oozing sarcasm.

"They know," Benny says. "And," he then adds awkwardly, looking away with a frown, "I don't think we're meant to be, I mean, I just worry I'm not good enough for them. It's kind of a… it's kinda hard, you know?"

"No," Maverick replies truthfully, because he really doesn't understand.

Benny glances at him and huffs. "Whatever, I thought about it and I realized I'd rather be your friend than their boyfriend, so," he says and shrugs.

Well that sort of sends Maverick's heart soaring. It's not going to be one hundred percent alright just yet, but right now it's really fucking easy to forgive Benny, even if Maverick realizes he's being way too lenient. He heaves a melodramatic sigh after a time he considers has been long enough to keep Benny squirming. "We'll see," he says haughtily. "I mean I've been tossed aside and looked down on by people my whole fucking life and I thought you at least wouldn't do that to me, so you have to really make up for this shit, alright?"

Benny's expression brightens and he nods excitedly, relief emanating from his very being. "Of course, I'll do anything," he hurries to say.

Maverick watches Benny and his heart is doing some weird shit inside his chest. Maybe they will be alright. He manages a tiny relieved smile, and Benny flashes one back at him, and Maverick, as usual, looks quickly away while his heart speeds up, and he's just  _so happy_ Benny's looking at him again.


	9. 9

Maverick stares into the unfortunate void that is their fridge and scowls deep, sniffling a bit. His cold doesn't seem to be giving up, and he's still mostly bed-ridden and right now  _dying_ for hot soup. He had expected Ramona would have saved some leftovers from the soup she made for Maverick last night, but apparently Ramona had failed at preparing things for her sick protégé. And it's not just that there's no soup, but that the fridge is indeed unnaturally vacant. Ramona was probably planning on doing grocery shopping after work, but that doesn't really help Maverick who is sick and starving  _right now_ .

He goes back to his room and sheds the three blankets he's wrapped in, starting to pull on clothes. There's really no other choice but to go get takeout. Jay's doesn't deliver and he could  _really_ go for some Jay's soup right now. It's only half a block away so it's not like he has to expose himself to the chill outside for too long. Too bad it's the coldest day in quite a while.

He wears a long-sleeved shirt and two hoodies and his usual jacket and a scarf and a woolen hat and two pairs of jeans and Ramona's combat boots because he figures they'll probably be warmer than his own sneakers. He pulls a hood on his head and looks in the mirror before heading out of the apartment, and he rolls his eyes at his reflection: he looks a bit like he's about to travel to the deepest frozen reaches of Alaska and not to the small diner half a block away.

Maybe wearing so much is a good thing, though: he feels sort of exhausted just from dressing up.

He opens the door and ends up almost face to face with Benny. Benny's wearing normal clothes and carrying a small plastic bag and his expression turns from the initial surprise to a worried frown.

"Why are you going out?" Benny asks instantly, doesn't even say hi.

Maverick frowns as well. "I need food," he replies simply.

"You're not going anywhere," Benny says strictly, sounding a bit like he won't listen to any objections and holds out the plastic bag. "I got you soup."

Maverick's eyebrows shoot up and yeah, that is Jay's logo on the side of the bag, and then he blushes red like a beetroot, glad that he can at least hide easily underneath the scarf and the hood. He tries to disguise everything in a half-offended huff. "I ain't so sick I can't walk half a block to get myself food," he says weakly.

"Shut up, idiot, and go back inside," Benny huffs, rolling his eyes.

Maverick takes the bag from Benny and shuffles back inside. Benny follows him, expecting apparently that he's of course welcome to do so. Maverick gives him a tired look and sighs. "I might be contagious," he says as Benny starts shedding his jacket.

"Whatever," Benny replies. "Ramona told me you liked Jay's soups so I got you something from there. No idea if you'll like it, but at least it's warm," he says and shrugs.

Maverick peeks into the bag and son of a bitch, Benny actually got him his favorite. There are two sealed bowls, so Maverick assumes the other one is for Benny. He shrugs ambivalently. "I guess it'll have to do," he says and starts unwrapping himself from the layers of clothing while Benny looks a tad amused at the sheer amount of clothes Maverick's wearing. "So you're gonna eat here too?" Maverick asks after a while, hoping he doesn't sound quite as hopeful as he is feeling.

"Yeah, if it's… if it's okay?" Benny says a bit hesitantly and looks at Maverick and like hell Maverick can deny Benny anything, especially if it means finally spending time with him after the whole stupid Abby thing.

Maverick shrugs. "Yeah, it's cool," he says, striving to sound nonchalant. His chest feels all warm and fuzzy suddenly and he  _hates_ it how schoolgirl crush-y he gets with it all.

Benny hangs his jacket and looks at Maverick, now a bit sheepish. Maverick realizes Benny's never been to their place before, so he likely doesn't really know where to go. Maverick rolls his eyes and walks further into the apartment, leading Benny through the living room to the spacious kitchen. He gets out the bowls from the bag and sets them on the table, then gets them spoons, and sits down. Benny follows the example.

They eat in silence that is surprisingly comfortable. Maverick's not used to that: he usually feels the need to fill any and every silence with some sort of noise whether it's talking or turning on the TV or music or whatever. Now Maverick's too busy feeling warm and fuzzy and nervous about Benny being in his home. Benny's looking around him, watching the results of Ramona's eccentric hippie style of interior design and the mess Maverick's managed to make during the couple of days he's spent in the living room playing videogames all day.

"Nice place," Benny says approvingly after a while. It doesn't sound like he's talking just to break the silence: he sounds sincere.

Maverick nods. He doesn't really have anything to say about the place, it's Ramona's, after all: he just inhabits the small closet he calls his room. He tells Benny that.

"How did you end up living together?" Benny asks a bit awkwardly. "Are you like… related somehow or?"

"She's my legal guardian, yeah," Maverick nods. "It's a long and a fucking boring story," he adds a bit reluctantly. He doesn't really want to talk about it, because he would have to mention the foster care and the messes with foster parents and all the shit that came after it and it could be a really dumb thing to tell someone he doesn't know  _that_ well yet. And he doesn't want to think about it now that he has no reason to, because it's all in the past and he's trying not to have his past define what he is now.

Benny nods and apparently catches on to Maverick's reluctance, dropping the subject. They finish eating their soups in silence.

"Thanks," Maverick says a bit awkwardly after he's done with the soup, and he glances at Benny. "For the soup."

"No problem," Benny says and flashes Maverick a smile that is sincere and lights up the whole goddamn kitchen, and Maverick looks quickly away, his cheeks reddening. He can't handle that smile at all, it's like his innards are throwing cartwheels and somersaults and it fills him with happiness that Benny's smiling  _at him_ again. Ugh, Maverick realizes how stupid he's being, stands up hurriedly and takes the empty soup bowls, dumping them into the trash and conveniently turning his back to Benny. "Do you want, like, coffee or something?" he asks.

"Sure," Benny says.

Maverick readies the coffeemaker and peeks into the fridge again to see if they have  _anything_ to serve with the coffee. Of course not. He notices a couple of cans of soda, though. "We have soda as well," he informs Benny.

"Coffee's fine," is Benny's reply. "You make good coffee."

Maverick blushes  _yet again_ and scowls at Benny, almost slamming the fridge door shut. "You don't have to suck up to me for the… for whatever the hell you were on about with Abby and stuff," he says, waving his hand in irritated circles.

Now Benny frowns. "I'm not sucking up to you," he says, sounding almost hurt. "Whenever you actually get me  _my_ coffee and not some fucking chocolate-y sugar bomb from hell, you make a really good coffee."

Maverick shuffles his feet a bit. Sure no one's actually ever complained to him about his coffee-making skills, but no one's ever told him he does it well either. Nobody really ever tells him he's good at something. It feels pretty nice. "Really?" he asks almost demurely.

"Yeah," Benny says.

There is a brief silence in the kitchen, broken only by the noises from the coffeemaker. Maverick leans to the counter and actively avoids looking at Benny. "How did you end up bringing me soup anyhow?" Maverick asks after a while.

Now Benny looks away and his face reddens a little. "I went to the shop to see if you were around and Ramona told me you're still not feeling too well. I asked if I could come see you and she told me you're likely starving by now and you'd probably like some soup." Benny shrugs.

Maverick snickers quietly.

"So I did," Benny finishes just as the coffeemaker finishes its gurgling. Maverick pours Benny a cup and just microwaves a cup of hot cocoa for himself: he doesn't much care for coffee. Dealing with it every day has sort of made him dislike even the smell of it.

Benny takes his cup and stands up from the table, heading for the living room to look around. He notices the Xbox and asks Maverick about his favorite games, and hey, they could play something together someday. Maverick nods and says "yeah sure", moving to turn off the console since it's still on Call of Duty multiplayer title screen. Then Benny wants to see Maverick's room, 'if it's alright' and sure, Maverick guesses it's alright although it's not really as much a room as it's just a walk-in closet: there's a reason his gaming has taken over the living room.

He lets Benny inside his room: a really tiny little space with enough room for a bed, a table his PC is perched on and an overflowing bookshelf. There's a window too and blue curtains and daylight makes the room look almost cozy, if a bit eccentric.

"It's pretty nice," Benny comments with the sort of tone of voice Maverick can't tell if he thinks it really is pretty nice or if he's complimenting just for the sake of it. He's too busy trying to kick his dirty clothes under his bed, and then he notices the books on top of it.

Maverick hurries to shove some pillows on top of the books, but it's too late, Benny's already seen them and he's giving Maverick a surprised look.

"High school textbooks?" Benny asks, clearly trying to hold back his curiosity. "Weren't you nineteen?"

Maverick huffs and looks away, his face reddening. "Well, yeah," he says defensively. "But I thought getting a diploma wouldn't actually fucking hurt, y'know."

"You never finished high school?" Benny asks and if that's pity in his voice, Maverick is going to kick him out right the fuck now and forget about this sorry excuse for a friendship.

"No," Maverick replies even more defensively, crossing his arms over his chest. "I dropped out."

Benny looks at the now-covered books and thinks for a second. "Well I think it's cool you're finishing it now," he says.

Sudden anger pierces Maverick's head and he uncrosses his arms and lets them drop against his sides, his hands balling into angry fists. "Yeah what the fuck ever, I know it's pathetic so I don't really need you to judge me," he spits out.

Benny looks at Maverick, his eyes a bit wide and baffled. "What the hell, I'm not judging you," he says and the surprise turns into a frown.

"Everyone always is!" Maverick snaps and looks away, his face red from anger and embarrassment.

"I'm not, fucking hell!" Benny says and rolls his eyes. "Why do you always jump into some stupid-ass conclusions? I don't care what made you drop out but I think it's genuinely cool that you're trying to get your diploma now. You're pretty smart to start with so why the fuck would I think you're pathetic just because you didn't finish high school? Stop putting words into my mouth, idiot!"

Maverick shuffles his feet and doesn't really know how to respond because the disconnection between how he perceived Benny would react to his lack of education and Benny's actual reaction is making his mind short-circuit. He kind of did jump into conclusions there, didn't he? Now he's embarrassed for completely different reasons.

"Well, whatever!" Maverick replies huffily and shuffles some more.

Benny smiles at him conciliatorily and moves the pillows off the books, taking a closer look. "Do you wanna study something after you get your diploma?"

"Yeah," Maverick admits after a short pause. "I was thinking, like, community college, philosophy… I…" he bites his lip and looks away, he hasn't even told Ramona about this, "I kinda thought being a teacher would be pretty cool, or something."

Benny looks really surprised and Maverick braces for disappointment as he's pretty sure Benny's going to laugh at him, because isn't that really laughable: since when do high school dropouts become teachers? Benny doesn't laugh: the surprised look melts into the most sincere smile yet, the kind that fucking lights up the room and rivals the sunlight pouring in, and Maverick's toes almost curl as Benny nods at him, beaming. "That's really cool," Benny says softly.

Maverick chuckles awkwardly, completely red in the face, and feels almost nauseous from the warm twisting feeling in his stomach. He has such a stupidly huge crush on this boy, goddamn. He hurries to undermine everything, of course: "Yeah, well, it's just a thought," he says quickly. "Need to get the fucking diploma first."

Benny's smile doesn't go anywhere as he moves past Maverick out of his closet-of-a-room, sipping at his coffee. "It's a good goal," he says.

"What about you?" Maverick asks, following Benny. "What do you wanna do? Gonna stay bike courier for the rest of your life?"

Benny's face falls a bit and Maverick figures it's not something Benny ever planned to become and his true aspirations are a bit higher than that, but his reply is just a shrug. "I dunno, we'll see," he says almost flippantly. "Gonna see what happens. Maybe after a couple of years I'll get an administrative job."

"One day you'll own the place," Maverick jokes and bursts out into coughs which make Benny give him a worried look.

"Shouldn't you be resting?" Benny asks and then looks flustered. "Fuck, sorry, I'm just making you walk around pointlessly."

"No, man, it's no problem, it ain't like the cold or whatever's even that bad anymore," Maverick says and coughs some more to totally prove the point,  _sigh_ .

"You still need to rest," Benny says resolutely, finishes his coffee with a single swallow and heads to the hall to get his coat. "Thanks for, um, letting me stay for a while, and thanks for the coffee. I'm gonna add your gamertag."

Maverick nods and feels a tiny bit disappointed Benny is leaving already. He was almost about to offer to play something co-op with him on Xbox. He's never played Halo with anyone before, it could be fun and Halo series is one of his favorites. "No problem, I owe you a lot more for the soup."

Benny flashes Maverick a quick smile, his hand on the door knob. "Don't worry about it, that's the kinda shit friends do. See you later."

That said he's gone and Maverick's left alone wallowing in his dumbass schoolgirl crush feelings.


	10. 10

They spend a lot more time together after that. Maverick returns to active duty at the coffee shop within a couple of days, and dutifully makes Benny his order every day when he pops in on his lunch break. If there are no other customers Maverick moves out to chat with Benny at his table, or sometimes Benny hangs about the counter and they talk about a variety of stuff and argue about the most trivial of it. Benny can't stand Bruce Willis which Maverick thinks is a fucking sacrilege and Maverick refuses to talk to Benny for a whole day and makes him decaf with skim milk because Benny hated the Arbiter parts in Halo 2. So how the hell is a generic space marine almost comically devoid of personality a better character than a cool alien dude who battles with his loss of _everything_ and starts waging a war of vengeance against the hegemonic leaders who took everything but his pride. Benny refuses to listen and stands by his opinion of Arbiter being boring as hell, and goddamn, _opinions._

Yet it's still all good: Maverick feels like he has a friend again. Their fights don't last long and the next day Benny admits that it's not like Master Chief is a better character, it's just that he's _cooler_ with the iconic armor and a sexy AI helping him and all, and Maverick accepts that a bit grudgingly.

Sometimes they hang out after work or during breaks outside the coffee shop. Benny takes Maverick to the arcade again and teaches him to aim at the zombie-killing shooter game. He supports Maverick's arm and helps keep it steady and he's standing so close Maverick can feel the warmth of his body and Maverick can't help the blush from creeping onto his face because he's never been so close to Benny before and it feels sort of exciting. He tries to breathe steady and hide the blush, but of course Benny notices and with a worried look asks Maverick if he's alright and Maverick quickly lies that he feels a bit faint and that he needs fresh air (the air is sort of stale inside the arcade so at least it's a _good_ excuse) and he just drops the plastic pistol in his hands and heads out of the arcade. Benny follows him and stops outside in the street next to him to rub comforting circles on his back and his continuing closeness really isn't helping, although it isn't as bad outside as it was inside the dark and cramped arcade.

"Are you feeling any better? Need me to go get you water or something?" Benny fusses, genuinely concerned and Maverick just chuckles and waves his hand in dismissal.

"Nah, man, I'm cool, just a… just needed a bit of air," he lies.

"Okay," Benny says. "Wanna walk a bit, clear your head or something?"

Maverick nods and they go around the block once. Benny talks about something trivial and Maverick pretends to listen while he's much too preoccupied thinking his schoolgirl crush feelings through. He feels like he's being a bit pathetic about the entire thing: surely guys his age can act more straight-forward about this and not try to guard it like some government secret. And Benny even likes guys (because he had the crush on Jerry) so it's not like he'd have to face the horrific circumstances of having a crush on a straight dude. Maybe he should just own up to it and confess and if Benny doesn't like him back, big deal; Maverick will just deal with it and get over it like an adult he's supposed to be. But he's scared what if it all becomes weird and Benny doesn't want to be his friend anymore? If they _can't_ be friends anymore because Maverick ruined it? He doesn't want _that_ , it's the one thing he doesn't want at all. He'd rather stay forever in the torment of unrequited schoolgirl crush feelings blushing like a dumbass and getting palpitations when Benny's within one foot from him or smiles at him or looks at him or shows concern like the sweet dumbass he is (as long as he doesn't show any pity: that won't sit well with Maverick).

Yeah, Maverick really has no way out.

Back at the arcade he tells Benny he's gonna head back home and Benny offers to walk with him: make sure he is okay and that he isn't going to faint or anything.

"Dude, I can take care of myself," Maverick says, almost offended (Benny's sentiment is completely lost since Maverick has this strange need to always be capable of things, or at least _seem_ like he is), but Benny refuses to listen to any resistance and walks Maverick home anyway.

There's an awkward pause after they say bye and before Maverick steps inside the stairwell and Benny heads towards home, and unfortunately Maverick's been exposed to so many of Ramona's dumb romantic comedies he knows that was the moment they would have kissed good night, and he retreats into the stairwell with his face red again.

Next day, when Benny's about to go back to work after his lunch hour, Maverick invites him over to actually play Halo 2 later if it's ok with him. He doesn't have to, of course, it's just a suggestion, but Benny smiles and says he'd like that and that he'll be there.

Benny's there to wait until Maverick clocks out and they climb upstairs to Ramona's apartment together and they're still making their way through Flood-infested levels when Ramona comes from work after closing the shop for the day. She gets them something to eat and then disappears into her own room, because holy _shit_ Maverick and Benny can be noisy and she doesn't want to be in the same room with them while they taunt each other and use the kind of language Maverick would actually flush for if he only realized. Most of the time they shoot at each other more than at the enemies and end up playing hide and seek to avoid dying continuously.

 

 

It's getting really late when they finally finish the game and Benny frets over staying over so late: Ramona must hate him and ugh he has to be at work in seven hours, he'll never get enough sleep. Maverick wants to ask him to stay but instead just looks away and assures Benny that if Ramona had a problem with Benny staying late yelling over videogames, she would have let them know. She would have let them know _good._

"Oh okay," Benny says, sounding a bit relieved, and shrugs on his jacket, lingering at the doorway far longer than is within any normal bounds. "So uh, see you tomorrow?" he asks rather than says.

"Yeah," Maverick says and looks at Benny and suddenly it's like the world slows down into a crawl around them. Maverick notices how bullshit blue Benny's eyes are and Benny's eyes widen just a tad and it all plays out like at half-speed at most, and is that Maverick's imagination or does Benny make an awkward jerky movement towards him: like he wants to step back towards Maverick? Maverick blinks and realizes he's probably never looked Benny in the eyes for such a long time and Benny must see through him right into his thoughts; straight into the dumbass crush he's trying to hide so hard because Benny only likes Maverick as a friend and nothing more and Maverick doesn't want to ruin that, and that's when Maverick looks away and the world fast-forwards to normal speed and they say bye and good night and Maverick's left there with his heart hammering super hard against his ribcage.

"You really are sweet on the boy, aren't you?" Ramona says from the doorway to her room and Maverick nearly jumps out of his skin from the sudden scare. "That is so fucking cute," she continues.

"Shut up," Maverick mutters. Who even says 'sweet on someone' anymore, Ramona is so dumb. His reddening face betrays all lies he might try to come up with, so instead he just prompts to stay silent and heads into his room to fall into bed head first, hiding his blush into the blankets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Image courtesy of Erli @ http://erlie.tumblr.com


	11. 11

Maverick ends up spilling the beans completely unplanned and unprepared during one evening when he's closing up the coffee shop and Benny's hanging about and being useless. Benny apparently has nothing better to do and he had a rough day, so he's just going to pester Maverick until he's free to entertain Benny. Maverick's tired from all the day's work too since Ramona's now the one feeling under the weather, and so Maverick has been doing double-shifts for two days and he really isn't used to doing  _everything_ on his own. He's trying to count the cash but Benny's telling him about this asshole customer he had earlier that day and Maverick can't concentrate, so he ends up snapping at Benny that he deals with asshole customers every day, especially this one Korean kid who doesn't leave him alone, and Benny goes off like a goddamn nuclear device at that because of the asshole customer he didn't have a very good day either.

" _You're_ the one who fucking threw a tantrum when I left you alone to hang out with Abby, so  _clearly_ I'm the one bothering  _you,_ " Benny snaps.

And to Maverick Abby is like a red cloth to a bull because it  _still hurts_ and Benny just doesn't seem to get that. "Yeah, so why don't you go back to your precious Abby then?" Maverick spits out angrily, slamming the cash register shut because clearly he can't get any counting done with Benny being such a shit.

"Because I like hanging out with you much more than I liked hanging out with them," Benny shouts, angry about having this conversation  _again_ .

"Well doesn't fucking sound like it," Maverick points out, turning confrontationally towards Benny. "I'm just a dumb barista who isn't even good enough to be your friend when you're trying to make an impression on someone else."

"I already apologized for that, aren't you ever going to fucking let me live that down?" Benny cries out, throwing his arms in the air.

"Hell no, do you know how much it fucking  _hurts_ ?!" Maverick shouts right back. "Being expendable like that? Just some fucking accessory or something, only worth something when I'm being useful some way! That's how it's always fucking been!"

"Well I'm sorry but I have no fucking idea what happened to you in the past to make you feel that way," Benny says, now a bit cautious while angry still. Maverick has never told Benny about his past and from the way this conversation is going Maverick doubts he ever will.

"Yeah, because you've never cared enough to fucking ask!" Maverick shouts.

"Well you've always been evasive when whatever's come up about your past so I doubt you'd fucking tell me!" Benny says.

"Are you fucking kidding me, I'd tell you anything if you only asked! Yeah I'm evasive about it because I'm not fucking used to talking to others about it! It's not something you just blurt out at people you don't even know that well! And no one's ever fucking cared enough to ask!"

"Well I do!" Benny shouts, his fists in balls and looking angry. "You're my friend, of course I wanna know things about you!"

"Yeah, 'a friend'," Maverick spits out and it's all downhill from there.

"What the hell's that supposed to mean?" Benny barks.

It all just runs out of his mouth; a torrent of words that should've stayed secret. "Well maybe you're not just a friend to me, maybe I fucking  _like you_ , you fucking dickweed. Maybe I'm so hurt about everything because I have this fucking huge crush on you and you just don't get it!" A second after that is out of Maverick's mouth he realizes he just did something irreversible and looks away, smashing at the cash register to get the slot open again so that he can pretend to be doing something although his mind is completely incapable of doing math right now. Holy shit how is Benny even going to react to that? Maverick bets he's going to walk away.

It renders Benny effectively silent and he just stares at Maverick for a while before his brow furrows and his voice gains volume when he replies in a half-shout: "Well maybe I like you too, you idiot!" he says, his face red. "Maybe I liked you ever since I asked you to come to the arcade with me for the first time!"

For a second Maverick feels faint: his world spins around its axis and he can't believe what he's hearing right now. He drops the coins back into the slot and looks at Benny, all dumbfounded but with all the fury from before. "Why the fuck did you go out with Abby then?!" he asks, voice shrill.

"Well if I had known you liked me I would have never gone out with Abby, I would have asked  _you!_ " Benny shouts at him. "You are so fucking stupid, you can't blame me for trying to find someone else when the guy I like acts like he doesn't even like me!"

It's all kinds of too much at once and Maverick breaks down, trying to blink back tears furiously and failing completely. He can't even reply, the words stick to his throat and instead of coming out as whatever he wanted to say they come out as a sad little whimper. It's not his fault he doesn't know how to properly communicate that he likes someone: he's never liked someone before and he's scared of the outcome: scared of being turned down, and Benny never did seem to like Maverick  _that way_ either, although in retrospect that might have been just Maverick's bad self image and self esteem at play.

"Are you CRYING?!" Benny boggles at him, something between completely baffled and concerned while the anger slowly disappears from his face as their mutual state of affairs slowly dawns to him.

"Fuck you, I ain't crying," Maverick manages to mumble out probably the most obvious lie of his lifetime as he wipes at his eyes, sniffling.

"Why the fuck are you crying? What did I do?" Benny frowns then, taking a step closer.

Maverick replies by taking a step back and whimpering as a sad attempt to stop crying. Holy shit how embarrassing and so ridiculous, but he really can't help it. He always resorts to crying when he's relieved: some really stupid form of stress release. Some people laugh in these situations, but in this case Maverick feels that crying makes a lot more sense than that! "You like me," Maverick replies after a while. He actually feels happy: things seem pretty alright suddenly and it all happened so quickly it's hard to grasp.

"Sorry?" Benny offers an awkward apology.

"Don't you fucking dare to be sorry for it, you asshole," Maverick sobs. "If your stupid brain can't catch up on the fucking psychological intricacies I'm actually pretty fucking happy right now, you dumbass."

"Then stop crying, idiot," Benny says and steps carefully closer, spreading his arms a bit as an indication of being there if Maverick is ready for it. He's a bit red in the face and clearly trying not to act as awkward as he's probably feeling. He's clearly a bit better at this than Maverick, which isn't saying a lot.

Maverick takes the offer after a very short contemplation, sinking into Benny's arms and Benny holds him close and tight, his breath steady and warm against Maverick's neck while Maverick still sobs embarrassingly against Benny's shoulder. It feels nicer than it probably should: Benny feels safe and stronger than he looks, and he smells nice and he really  _holds_ Maverick; doesn't just stand there as something for Maverick to lean on to. They've never hugged before: it's a big deal to Maverick.

"I really like you," Benny says quietly after a while. "I'm sorry I never told you, I had no idea you… you like me too." The puffs of breath and his voice so close to Maverick's ear make a pleasant shudder shoot through Maverick's body, not even mentioning the meaning of those fucking words. Maverick sort of feels like he can never stop the stupid crying if Benny doesn't stop being so sweet: he's so goddamn relieved and happy because this is actually happening.

Benny raises his head then and shrugs his shoulder a bit to make Maverick raise his head too. There's a quick surge of nervousness and anticipation when Maverick realizes what's going to happen.

"C-can I kiss you?" Benny asks, stumbling over the words  _adorably as heck_ , and looks hopefully at Maverick.

How the hell Maverick could say no to that? He's lost his voice somewhere in the sobs and the general absurdness of the situation, so he just nods shyly in reply, looking quickly away because it still feels like Benny sees straight into him if Maverick looks him in the eyes for too long.

Maverick squeezes his eyes shut just before Benny takes gently but determinately hold of Maverick's chin, tilts his head just a bit and kisses him on the lips. Maverick's heart feels close to bursting because who the hell gave Benny permission to kiss so well or be so fucking sweet and gentle. It feels so disgustingly romantic, like straight from one of those Ramona's stupid movies Maverick's been exposed to.

Or maybe it's just the whole first kiss thing.

Whatever.

They kiss for quite a while, both curious about it but too shy to take it anywhere further than that, with Benny's hands perched on Maverick's waist and Maverick's on Benny's shoulders and Maverick's on cloud fucking nine. Benny draws away after a while to look Maverick in the eyes, and he brushes some escaped strands of hair off Maverick's forehead and smiles at him, bright and blinding and Maverick  _can't look_ , so he just dives against Benny and hugs him, scared that Benny will otherwise misunderstand his need to look away. Benny hugs him back, draws in the smell of Maverick's hair (coffee, most likely) and holds him tight.

"You like me," Maverick says quietly against Benny's neck.

"You're really amazing," Benny muses. "Of course I fucking like you, why the hell would I show up here every day. The coffee's great but it's you I come to see."

"Fucking bastard," Maverick mutters, close to tears again. "You should've told me."

"I'm sorry," Benny offers and kisses Maverick's forehead.


End file.
